FIGHTING MEMORIES

Dear Pratik

The nights are ruthless when I fight every day with memories where we were together. Every night, I battle with tears, ask them not to roll down my cheeks. Every night, I continue to fight a losing battle. I console my restless heart of the day when we will meet. Yet, my heart is frail when it comes to you. My yearning heart endlessly longs to cover a distance that we both know can never travel until time comes.

As I console my weeping heart, I am losing the strength that I had collected to cope with your departure when you departed. Both my heart and mind knows that you are gone for good; gone for the eternal togetherness which we will share when you arrive—the day that I endlessly wait! The thought of our conjugal togetherness delights me and withholds tears from falling for a while. Yet, then again, I remember the distance—the aching distance until we meet and tears roll down without my reckoning.

I count days Pratik. Each passing day brings you closer to me. Each night tells me that such nights will always pass, and pass quickly. Yet, I have been a fool to think that nights and days pass quickly because it never does. The twenty four hour is too long a time for a day to pass by.

Can we not decrease time Pratik? Can we not decrease time in hours or minutes or even seconds so that we can be together soon? I sincerely wish we could.

But, time is strange. It never passes, and the more I think of it, the more lonelier I become. On my journey, I miss your touch. I miss when we held our hands and walked distances. I miss moments where you would endlessly talk. I miss the kisses. I miss your embrace. I miss you Pratik.

Each day, I miss you more. The more I miss you, the more I love you. This is what distance has taught me in your absence. I meet my friends and stay with my family as long as I can to divert my heart and mind from you, but, I endlessly fail. Love never seemed to be so strong an emotion we departed.

I still remember the last time when we departed. I knew you would go. Yet, when you held me in my embrace, I wished the time would freeze. I wished that you’d never go. I wished we would stay the way we are forever. Together. Never away. Yet, you left. I never looked back because I knew what I was leaving behind. I was leaving behind you. I was leaving behind my heart. I was leaving behind my life and joy and going ahead—with a heavy heart. I was leaving you until we would meet again.

AGAIN…WHEN? How frail is this heart? Tears, stop to roll down for no reasons. I cannot console you anymore. I am losing all of my strengths that I had gathered to hold back the aching pain of departure. Tears, stop the cries….

Love you forever and more,

See you soon Pratik.

Yours,

Beloved