A Letter of Apology …to my Beloved

Dear Beloved,

I apologize for not writing to you and my Love, I did not intend to ignore you.
Things kept me busy in these bustling crowds where I wish to hear your
voice…feel your warmth and your presence…

My Love, when you acknowledged my sacred love, I feel blessed. Indeed, like you,
I lack words to express my thankfulness save the very words of ‘thank you’.

Beloved, I was euphoric when I got your letter. However, I could not write back
to you. No Dear, I’ve not changed to you and never will I for I, am still that
very vast sea which is same despite the changing seasons. However, at times
there are uneven tides and waves that hallucinates me and tends to push me away.
Yet, when the tides settle down; which they always should do, I am still the
same…

I accept your wait and still am waiting you despite the unsettling tides that
overruled me for a long time! At times, Beloved, I wander aimlessly thinking
what my destiny is…but after an irksome walk, I come to know that all my ways
leads to you and only you. This consoles me for the fact that you are always
with me…despite your reluctance…

Beloved, love to me is pure and a god that I always worship. My deeds, my
achievements and my striving behavior to succeed are all because of you and only
you. That is why I continue to wait for I know that the almighty can never leave
his child destitute with no one to walk through…to aid as a companion in these
lonesome crowds where we all long for our beloved to be by our side…no matter
how harsh or merry the day or night be…

I do believe that time turns the tide Dear, but the question itself has the
answer and once again, is onto me and you to cope against the tide…we always
can’t swim with the current just because it’s easy! Beloved if we are swept away
by the currents, life would be easy which, however is not! We are always
battling against an impregnable current that tries to make us “flow” and it is
there that we are to decide…whether we are to be “swept away” or to fight back…
I stick to the latter. My wait also speaks that I continue to go against the
current to reach my destiny that once accepted will be joyous and of eternal
togetherness!

Beloved, the questions of “what if” ridicules me because those are mere
possibilities that can stretch as much as we wish. The question is not of “what
if” of but rather of a provoking question that shakes us from inside…“will I
change?” and the answer to it should not be perfunctory saying “no I will not”
but rather from your voice that reverberates deep down you with an answer you
expect or are unlikely to expect!

Yes Love, you were indeed true to say that life is full of hurdles. Beloved,
when you fear to accept my love, I continue to love you more for I continue to
go against the current of a tide and swim against it and I know, one day…one
fine day when the sun merrily shines…when the full moon shows the light…when the
birds chirp in joy…when the flowers blossom the way they never blossomed
before…you will love me back and that very one fine day keeps me waiting for I
know, although spring comes once in a year like every season, it returns the
next year for without it, the years will never succeed!

Beloved, I will answer your query not with force but with a gentle smile and
assurance that says, “you’re there for me and I know you will always be there
for me.” You may ask me why I have so much faith on you…but you’ve always been
there for me…and undoubtedly will be there for me! And indeed my Love, once
again I’ll always be there for you no matter you succeed or fail for like you
said, success is a sheer luck while failures lessons to succeed! Dear, neither
will I be a hurdle to your success but will be a ladder when you fail for I know
with a presence of your beloved, you can succeed!

I too am there for you and will always be there for you. I’ll wait for eternity
to feel your love…that blissful smile…never ending conversations…the warmth of
your love and you!

Beloved, I will fight against all odds, all the barriers…the troubling
tears…kiss the thorns and wait for you and only you!

I once again express my heartfelt apology with a beating heart that waits for
your reply!

Once again and more,

Love you forever,

Yours,

Pratik